My Take on Death

I normally write my articles with a pretty thought-out plan. But right now, especially for this topic, I’m letting the pen (or keyboard) lead me.

I can’t help but feel scared for some reason when writing about death. Maybe this fear comes from a place of taboo, I’ve grown up believing that it’s bad luck to even think of death.

But now, my adult mind always questions: why is thinking of something that’s a certainty considered bad luck? Are we right to be so afraid? More importantly, could our be fear be linked to our inherent selfishness as human beings?

Selfishness can be a strong word

But isn’t that what we all have in common? When we experience losses in our lives or even just the fear of loss, what often comes to mind:

- “How am I going to live without you?”

- “I’m sad that there was no closure”

- “I will never have a chance to see you again”

It’s all about us, isn’t it?

Of course, this thought comes from a very cynical part of my mind that believes that none of us is ever truly good or evil – w de just do things that serve ourselves. Then, we live the rest of our lives hoping that our choices will make us happy. Again, it’s all about us.

Out of nowhere, I now hear the hopeful side of my personality chiding the cynical me. Humans are selfish creatures by nature, yes. But perhaps in facing certain death, we unlock a part of ourselves that go against our self-preserving nature. Recent losses have thought me that.

Learning to let go

“It’s okay. We’ll be okay. You can rest now,” (my recent thoughts)

When I think of the term “rest in peace”, I picture a person smiling off to the distance as they free themselves from the worries of this material world. Funnily, I don’t even know if I want to believe in the idea of spirits.

Now don’t get me wrong - it’ll be very comforting to know that my dearly departed still looks over me. At the same time, since life has its fair share of troubles, will looking at our pain and hardships disrupt the peace that our lost ones were supposed to have?

Well, that’s just my overactive brain going at it again.

But I think these overbearing thoughts ironically helped me cope with my grief. The pain of loss will always be there: lost time, unfulfilled wishes, loneliness. But on the other side, perhaps the best way to cope with the grief of death is to embrace life.

Living a life “worth” living

I say “worth” because I still don’t know what kind of life is a good one. Oftentimes, many of us fear death because we’re unsure if we’ve lived life to its fullest potential.

But what is this “potential”? Partying as much as possible? Relaxing as much as possible? How about travelling, or staying indoors with family as much as possible? Even as I’m writing this article alone in my room, there is someone out there who is trailing picturesque mountains or relishing in the company of their family and friends. Does this mean I’m not “living” enough?

That’s the beauty of life, isn’t it? It’s never the same for any of us.

Me writing this blog alone in my room has been one of the most cathartic experiences in my life. I didn’t even know where this article was going to go. I went into it with so many disjointed thoughts about death and why I didn’t think I was grieving normally.

But right now, I found a greater appreciation of life than ever.

Final thoughts

Even though diverse beliefs such as an afterlife or reincarnation exist, death still gives a strong sense of finality to many of us. It doesn’t always have to be this way though. While life goes on, our memories of passed loved ones will stay.

In my mind, I’ve always believed that death existed in 3 forms. The death of the mind, the death of the body and the death of memory. I’m pretty sure this belief has already existed for centuries in other cultures/religions but it helped me put things in perspective.

Interestingly, memories of a lost one can also be held by people who have never met them. This is so true when it comes to my late grandfathers who I’ve never had the chance to meet. I feel a love that is very much alive thanks to the stories and memories shared by my parents.

When writing this article, I honestly didn’t think it was going to end on a positive note. In fact, writing about death seems to be a very counter-productive way to kick off my weekend. But as you can see, it was a fantastic use of time!

Going to hug my parents now, see you in the next blog! 😊