I'm Not a Poet

The title says it all

Yet, why am I writing this?

Is it to impress y'all or me?

Or maybe it's projecting

I'm pretending to be somebody else?

I have no answers

Just doubts

I don't even have a favourite poet

Will it be cool if I say "I like Rumi and Rupi"?

Or should I get more references

If not Persian, Sufi

If not Greek, Shakespearean

But what if I'm honest and say Jay Z inspires me

What does that make me?

"Poet" or "Lyricist"?

More likely just a regular hip-hop fan

Heck, I don't even know if poems should rhyme

But let me try for the sake of time

It can be fun though

But maybe an immature low

How about lines

How many should a poetic verse have?

Is the standard always four

Or less?

Maybe it's two

I'd be way more confident if I knew

No structure, no narrative

How can I call myself a writer

Hmm, it is my current job

But outside of it - feels like I'm lacking

Arrogant Hannah is confused now

Studied like hell to get the qualifications I have

Arrogant Hannah believes she's earned everything

But that's it, it's just studying

It's how long you can focus

How much you can memorise

Keep still and maybe think a bit

But creativity? Barely

Imposter Syndrome is what this sounds like

Feeling like a fraud

A fraud that didn't earn what she has

Or isn't talented enough

So why am I writing this?

I'm exposing myself

Wait a second; maybe it's acceptance

Accepting that I can stop pretending

Pretending that I'm interested in classical stuff

Pretending that I'm more well-read than 90% of the world

Pretending that I care about what makes a good poem

Pretending that I'm artsy

I'm not artsy

Never have been

Can't draw, dance, sing, or design

Sometimes robotic when I write

Maybe it's social media

I care too much about how y'all see me

Curating posts and stories to fit an "image" of me

Bingo! Found the fraud I'm looking for

I want to live in real life

Not base my happiness on what I see/post on Instagram

Not care for online relations that have no real-life action

Real - I want to be real

So, I'm not a poet

Never have been

But maybe I can call myself a writer after all

The peace and enlightenment it gives, so worthy

And peace is all that matters

At the beginning and as we rest,

In the end.